and all that jazz…

"Is it any wonder that I’m tired?
Is it any wonder that I feel uptight?
Is it any wonder I don’t know what’s right?
Oh, these days, after all the misery you made,
Is it any wonder that I feel afraid?
Is it any wonder that I feel betrayed?"

- Keane -

I have to admit that life has been good to me as an overall. There are times when i thought…"Damn! I cannot escape this one." , but in the end i did managed to get out without a scratch. Have we ever wondered…what could have been if we take the next train…or maybe the train earlier. So…eveything happens for a reason. And what about the things that didn’t happen? I guess the later goes as fine as the earlier. As for the me…i can recall some ‘occasions’ where i’ve escaped with only God’s help. I remember one time when i was nearly got hit by a group of drunk boys….somehow…as told earlier…i escaped without a scratch. Not that i managed to knock em out. It’s just words and respect that i carry with me.

I guess it is true…if we want a better life…we should be a better person at first. To be good to other people means being good to ourselves. Now who says being a sellfish pays…Well maybe in a short run it will. But wait till we see the end.

Life is not all about what and how much we can achieve…it more about what and how much we can give. It’s not bout where u start…it about where u end.

But then again…maybe i’m wrong

Now, you decide…..yes you!

Immutable, Impossible
It’s destiny, Pure lunacy
Incalculable, Insufferable
But for the last time
You’re everything that I want and ask for   

- Smashing Pumpkins

" When you try your best, but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep

Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse? "

- Coldplay -

We have to agree that there’s nothin in this world that could satisfy our thirst for life (evethough we said that sumthin will). Why is it so hard for us to appreciate the things around us? Especially the ones that have been dear to us. Well…maybe we have this thought cos we know that there’s nothin to it for us. How can we tell that we’re gettin the things we need? Do we need sumthin because we want it or we want sumthin because we need it? It’s like grabbing a can of soda while having a bottle of water on the other hand. Letting the bottle go was easy but soon enough we notice that we need that bottle of water to cure our thirst. The reason was…soda looks and sounds more attractive…so it creates an ilusion of having our thirts broken in style (and that is why Coke sells so well…hehehe). And that’s the simple truth

So…becareful what we wish for…cos it might not be the thing that we thought it would be. There’s always more than meets the eyes. Of course we know that…we just don’t have the will to fight the temptation…and so it be

" Sometimes we talk over dinner like old friends
Till I go and kill the bottle,
I go off over any old thing,
Break your heart
and raise a glass or ten

Well it’s been a long slow collision,
I’m a pitbull, you’re a dog,
Baby you’re foul in clear conditions
But you’re handsome in the fog "

- Cardigans -

" Now we see everything that’s going wrong with the world and those who lead it. We just feel like we don’t have the means to rise above and beat it. So we keep on waiting…waiting on the world to change "

                      - John Mayer -

Maybe it’s true what they say…ignorance is a bliss Is it true? Whether we want to believe it or not…it has became apparent as a fact, that survival has rose above humanity. We can see it everywhere…in the real life(on the road… in LRT.. etc), in the tele and the prints. Maybe we just see it as it is. Knowing that ‘life sucks!’…but do we notice that a bit of sumthin creates a whole of everthin? and yes…we might have contribute in setting up the ‘system’. System of down it is I can’t say that i’m not contributing to this matter cos the this line between the right and wrong seems so vague. Have i cross the line? Have we cross the line? God knows. Maybe it hasn’t been our problem yet…and that’s why I say… Ignorance is a bliss It’s like when we see a robbery…the first thing we think off is how not to get involved…regardless the thought that we could do our part to save sumthin. Now if u don’t believe me….go and watch Amazing Race…they’d do anything to get their task done…sumthin that I won’t do…..and that’s why I’m not in Amazing Race Asia Damn u Khairul!!!!

“I swam across, I jumped across for you,
Oh what a thing to do.

Cos you were all yellow.

Your skin oh yeah, your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful,
You know, you know I love you so,
You know I love you so.”

- Coldplay -

Well….lately I’ve been attending lots of weddings. Guess that people are ready to settle down J Not to say that I’m not ready…just that the luck hasn’t been on my side yet…or god knows may not be anywhere near me ever. So…don’t bother asking me when or who or wutsoever. Hehehehe. Back to the weddings…two of the holy matrimonies were for two of my close frens. So…congrats lads! Selamat Pengantin Baru…Semoga Bahagia Ke Anak Cucu J My god…I’ve always love weddings…not for any particular reason…I just love it…oh wait…maybe coz the idea of two souls been united…but other than that…nada! So…there will be more among my closest frens this year and next year…and of course…as one of the few singles in the tribe….I’m gonna have to volunteer my service as the best man (1 time experience) or photographer (2-3 times experience) or tukang angkat dulang hantaran (too-many-to-mention times of experience) or at least the witness of marriage registration (3 times experience). Been there…done that!   It’s not too bad eyy? At least I’ve got the glance of it all. Well…it’s good to see the happiness…the trust and the yield between partners. I can see it in their faces…the comfort and security of their partner’s company…a sanctuary they made…from each other…for each other J Hmm…talking bout marriage…me and my two frens have made a pact…the arrangement was not to get married before 30 and there will be prizes for those who succeed and a punishment awaits the one(s) who failed. I tell ya…I think I got a big chance of winning this…in fact…I’m quite confident. A lackadaisical stance and a broken heart would certainly help…and a room full of rare books and records would work me wonders (ceh…like I can get all that ..wishlist no.19). As for the other 2…the chances for them are slim…one already has a girlfren and another is looking hard for one. Well…I’m not 100% sure about my standpoint…coz nobody can predict the next thing for sure. So… I guess I have to start on my herbs gardening plan (wishlist no. 20) sooner than I thought. Hehehehe.

“I push my finger into my eyes

It’s the only thing that slowly stops the ache

But it’s made of all the things I have to take

If this pain goes on…I’m not gonna make it”

- Slipknot -

A weird thing has happened to me recently. It may have been a coincident but it really helped me in a way. It happened on a night that I was trying so hard to quit smoking. That night I was restricting myself from any cigarette activities…well… smoking and buying it is. The craving really hit me that night…and the best thing I can do was choking myself with a gallon of water…and lying down in front of the TV. It was my third day without cigarette…and of course my I-don’t-know-how-many-time attempt to give up this habit of mine. The craving kept growing by minutes and the worse thing was… I couldn’t sleep. Damn! At that moment…I wish I have someone to talk to. But yeah…it’s out of the context…not gonna happen. Finally I gave up to the temptation around 3 in the morning. And so…I decided to go out and give myself a treat of a cigarette and a glass of  teh o limau kosong. So…I grabbed my jeans, my phone and my wallet and embark on my journey to extravagance J As I was unlocking the front door of my house…I was surprised to see that another set of the keys is nicely slotted in the lock set of the outer side of the door. Should anybody come that nite; the only thing he needed to do to get in my house was to turn the key and voi la! You’re in! Until now, I never know how those keys have ended up in the slot throughout the night. But I’m pretty sure it wasn’t me J I was there, in front of the door for about 5 minutes. My craving was suddenly swapped with the thought that how lucky we were that nite. So…I’ve decided to take that chance to reprogram my short term plan for the nite J I went back to my room, took off my jeans, treat myself to a glass of water and went to sleep. Since that moment, I haven’t had anymore craving when I’m at home. I don’t know how and why…but yupp…I haven’t been smoking at home for quite sometime now.

Well…that wasn’t my last moment as a smoker. I’m still smoking when I’m out with frens. As I was writing this, I really thought that I need help to manage this addiction. Yes! I need help! I want to quit so bad! Is there any CAA (Cigarette Addicts Anonymous) in town? ;P I think it’s about time for me to quit this habit…and maybe I have to find another thing to do that might help me overcome smoking. Actually…I have promised myself that I will quit when I have a gf…but I doubt that the day will come anytime soon. I have to quit by next year! I must! I want to! Now…could anybody give me any suggestion? Or help? Or whatever? No? Yeah…I know…it’s my problem. Deal with it yourself, Mr! Hehehe.

“Garment rose, dirty face

Pretty noose is pretty hay

And I don’t care what you got

I don’t care what you need

I don’t want anything…

And I don’t like what you got me hanging from”

- Soundgarden -

“Never saw it as the start…it’s more a change of heart. Rapping on the window and whistling down the chimney pot. Blowing up the dust in the room where I forgot…I laid my plans in solid rock.”

- Ocean Colour Scene -

I read an article last week about sexual ideology. It mentioned bout how low statistically the people in this particular place believe in sex after marriage and the people who believe that there should be only one partner is getting lesser and lesser. Well…I’m not being judgemental wutsoever…it’s just that it kinda reminded me of a conversation I had with a girl some time ago. It was an interesting conversation….it wasn’t all bout the idea of sex…it’s also bout the idea of faithfulness….and just like any other fulfilling conversation…I did enjoy it. So…the conversation went on to somethin like this…

Girl : So…K…getting lucky tonite?

Me : Wut? Wut in our history of friendship that makes u think I will get lucky?

Girl : Oh…C’mon K…don’t tell me that u don’t wanna get lucky.

Me : Hahaha! Well…I’d love to…but not like wut u’ve just suggested.

Girl : Wut do ya mean?

Me : I don’t believe in meaningless sex. Moreover…I believe that I should only have sex with my wife…whoever she is. Hehehe.

Girl : Hahaha! Nice one K! (pushing my face away in other direction)

Me : Yupp…nice one! And it’s true.

Girl : (Grinning in surprise) U kiddin me me rite? U don’t believe in that do u?

Me : Why not?

Girl : It’s not normal K…we’re not in the 50’s anymore K! Or is it because of ur religion?

Me : Well…yeah…in a way.

Girl : Rite..rite.. But I don’t think that it’s possible for u.

Me : Hehehe. Why so? Girl : Guys like u can’t avoid sex. Even if u stand strong by that thought of yours….u’ll eventually get lured by some girls. Now…don’t tell me that u can stand that. Hehehe.

Me : Ohh…C’mon…I’m not that hot that someone would come and seduce me.

Girl : Well…says u! U just don’t see it do ya? Open your eyes and take a look around K…there are girls who want u…they’re just waiting for your signal.

Me : Hahahaha! U must be kiddin me. U know wut? Spare me the details. I don’t wanna know. Hehehe.

Girl : See…u just don’t care (pushing my face again). So…U sayin that u can stand seduction?

Me : Hahaha. I don’t think so! U know wut…I’m no different from any guys u know when it comes to this…but I have to find a way so that it wouldn’t happen. U know wut I mean?

Girl : Yeah…but how so?

Me : To me the best way is to avoid anything that could lead to it. If I show no interest…no girl would be stupid enough to seduce me…rite?

Girl : Hmmm….maybe. So…u’ve been avoiding all these years?

Me : Yupp! Hehehe. And saving myself for that special someone. Hehehe.

Girl : (Rolling her eyes) Well…I think it is a rather stupid idea. Hehehe.

Me : Really? Maybe so…but I’ll stick to it.

Girl : But then again…maybe u’re just hopeless romantic. But u know wut? U could be a victim of ur own stupidity ya know?

Me : Wut do ya mean? Girl : If u gonna get someone who has the same idea…it would be a blessing…but if otherwise…well…God knows wut will happen. It’s too risky K. Being too faithful can hurt u more than u know.

Me : Yeah…I know. I’m pretty much aware of the risk. U know…it’s like this…I know wut I’m in for…and I’m willing to take the risks.

Girl : Hmm…don’t say that I didn’t warn u.

Me : Hehehe. Don’t worry. I won’t Oh yeah…I forgot. Are u getting lucky tonite? Hehehe.

Girl : Ouhh…Fuckin hell! Shut up K! Well…since u’ve mentioned it….maybe I will. Hahaha. Just pray that u will never have a girlfriend like me!

Me : Hahahaha!

“Akan Kita Bersama…Selama-lamanya Kau lah segala…yang ku nantikan selama ini di hati Nescaya cinta ini…untuk kau dan aku.”

- Sheila Majid -

Anybody seen any rainbow recently? Well….I’ve seen three…yupp…three rainbows in three consecutive days. What a beautiful sight. It reminds me of the Care Bears J The fact that they can walk on the rainbow has given me an idea to find where a rainbow actually starts and ends. And of course….as stupid as it may sound…nobody has really found where it starts and ends. I think it’s kinda peculiar though…they have worked out the whole theory on how a rainbow is formed…but still they can’t find the starting and the ending point Rainbow is a symbol of harmony…unity….prosperity and happiness…well…that is what I think at least J 7 colours…lining up together….isn’t that harmony? Hehehe. Hmm…talking bout the number 7.  I’ve noticed that Allah has made so many things in 7. To name a few…7 colours of rainbow…7 levels of sky (7 petala langit) and 7 levels of earth (7 petala bumi). That’s the beauty of God’s creation. Subhanallah! But what we as humans do with it? We just take…take and take and never give back. We drilled down through the ground without compensating the earth movement….we emit so much in the air that made the sky so grey and dull though there’s no rain coming. I have a thought bout rain…rain is a symbol of sadness…loneliness…despair…and cleansing. It’s a metaphor on how sad mother nature is on what’s going on in it….and of course a way to clean up all the mess we have made in it.  Some people have been messing up with mother nature while foreseeing the consequences…and the victims has always been the ones who’s not in ‘messing up plan’ or the ones who don’t know bout the consequences. This is where the other 7 takes place…the 7 sins it is. We meet our own interest by destroying things around us…taking so many things in offer without giving back. Even giving back to nature can be an intriguing agenda now…and that would be another story J Talking bout destroying the nature…as happy as I am to see 3 rainbows in 3 days…there was a bitter sweet state that occurred to me recently. The sweet part was…I saw a family of 3 boars somewhere near my house…and the weird thing is…I saw them again at the same place the night after. It really got me to think and notice on how they seem so lost. I finally realised the bitter part…they have lost their habitat due to construction work near the area. I wonder if there will be a day where these animals invade our habitat the same way we did to them. J God has given us the brains so that we can take care of each other and all the things around us. We are the only kind who’s responsible for the outcome of the future for all. So…if something should happen to us in the future….don’t go and blame it on the ones without the brains…blame it on the brains with big ambitions and think that they’re making the world a better place. I really hope that I won’t be around anymore at the time where there’s nothing that could be salvaged…not even our own dignity. Enough said! J

“Now you’ve got what you want

Give us back the trees

If I got to live here… I got to breathe

Peeling an orange…I’m expecting the sweetness.

Peeling an orange…I ‘m very optimistic

But sometimes the acid stings my eyes.”

- Talk Show -

Chocolate! Emmm….chocolate. Yes..we all love chocolate. Who doesn’t rite? Well…as much as we want to believe that…there’s always an opposite opinion on all matters. I once talked to a stranger…and she actually hated chocolate! (i can’t remember why we end up talking bout chocolate anyhow :P) Now…that’s a surprise. I thought girls and chocolate are inseparable…wait…that’s shoes…sorry…my bad :P  So..i asked her why she hates chocolate that much. The answer was, as expected…" You know…chocolate goes straight to your ass…if it gets there…it stays there. I don’t wanna ruin my beau cul. " Hmmm…wut a cliché…and i’m sure i have heard that sumwhere before. And the funny thing is…she was choking on a can of Coke while talking to me. So much for the beautiful ass eyy? Anyway… she has the right to think the way she was…it’s just that why worry bout things that  should be our gateway to indulgence…and yes it’s not a sin! Hehehehe. Some people just believe that somethin that is too good may not be a good thing at all. Yeaa…that can be applied in some circumstances but not in this case…i guess :)  There are myths bout chocolate that has been surrounding us since like forever. They say chocolate causes tooth decay…ekkk! wrong! (it only happens to ppl who don’t brush their teeth ;P) Chocolate gives u cholesterol….ekkk! wrong again! Chocolate contains high fat and will lead to weight gain…ekkkk! myths! Chocolate is high in caffein….ekkk! wrong! wrong! wrong!

Actually…chocolates can do us more good than harm….especially for gals (well…not if u shovel it down ur throat every single day :P) Apparently…chocolate can be a good remedy for mood swings…so gals…everytime u feelin moody or having a PMS…go and get urself a nice bar of chocolate…light up the candles and enjoy it while having a good time alone. Hahahaha….what an imagination i have here eyy? So…i guess it’s true…all this while…we only fear the things that we don’t know

Above all these…we should know that in everything we do…modesty is the best policy. Now…don’t go and eat chocolate everyday…and put the blame on me when u gain ur weight Moderation peeps…moderation

"If love were liquid it would drown me in a placeless place refine me, in a heart shape come around me and then melt me slowly down.If love were human it would know me in a lost space come and show me, hold me and control me and then melt me slowly down, like chocolate…"

                                                - Kylie Minogue -

The maestro has join the titans! Yeah…Mr Ballack has ‘blue’ed himself on free transfer from Bayern Munich. Well…wut can i say…the virtual dream partnership between Frank and Michael is finally becoming reality. Apparently Ballack will top the highest paid footballer’s list …with a paycheck of £130000 per week. Damn! wut’s he gonna do with that money? Build a shelter for pandas? Don’t think so! Or maybe he’s gonna do it…well…need not to think bout that…it’s none of my business. :P  With the arrival of Ballack in the team…there must be some departure to compensate. Rumour has it that Crespo, Gallas, Del Horno and Wright Phillips are packing up and gettin ready to leave. I guess it’s a right thing to do. Such good players should not be sidelined. But then again it’s their choice!

Next signing should be interestin…would it be Shevchencko or Tevez? Both are fairly even as a great player. How bout havin both? Hehehe. Nah…don’t be greedy. Either one would be enuf. If i have to choose…i would pick Shevchencko! Now back to Ballack. Will he be worth the pay? Hmm…we’ll see if those £130000 legs would perform as it should be…and i really hope that Chelsea wont end up like Real Madrid…dark and gloomy despite all the stars. I guess it’s true…stars are there for a reason…if we move them, they might not be shining as bright as they used to be La la la la la la…..

The English side has named their full squad for the World Cup. Nothing much of a suprise except for the inclusion of one particular player….well…Theo Walcott it is. I have to say that Sven has been a lil bit vague on his plans. Yeah…maybe the kid, Theo has great things to offer…but none of us have seen the boy playin rite? (and yeah… neither Sven Gorran Ericsson) Even Arsene Wenger has never included him in the Gunners’ squad. Hmm…in rational…none of the above has a solid fact to back up the selection. There are more experienced players that can be included instead…like Jermain Defoe, Darren Bent, Andrew Johnson, Carlton Cole or even Robbie Fowler. Well..i think the kid needs more exposure… and moreover…he has more years to come for him to play in the world cup (unless if he gets seriously injured during the world cup and have to consider for a premature-career retirement…wut a beautiful imagination…hehehe)  The football world nowadays is more competitive…just skills and strength won’t be enuf…u need to have the good ‘brain’…and of course u can only get the good ‘brain’ through experience. Playin with the big boys will not be the same as playin with your teenage friends Theo!

It’s not so much of the selection that intrigued me really. It’s the main plan. England has always been a big talker when it comes to the world cup. From what i’ve seen…this time…the English wants to win the world cup so bad…with the boost from their domestic league and of course Arsenal as a contender for the european champion (I hope Gunners will win this one! Barca can go to hell! Wek!) But so far…according to Sven’s plan…i don’t see how England can win the world cup…with 2 injured and 1 unexperienced strikers in the squad…that leaves Peter Crouch alone in the scoring department…and i don’t see him as a real threat at all

Hmm…again bout Theo…if we look it form a different perspective…it could be a major boost for the English football. If not in the instance future…maybe in the years to come. Who know that in the years ahead…we might look back at this very time and say ‘ It’s a good thing that Sven had includes Theo Walcott in the 2006 World Cup team because the boy has been great ever since’. Now…let see if Theo Walcott can do it…let see if he can bring the game to another level…let see if he can take us out of the Wayne’s World coz i’m already bored with it…big time! :)  And oh yeah…to all the England’s fans out there…u can officially stop dreaming about the World Cup victory now…hehehe…jgn marah!